When I was five my parents had to re-record The Little Mermaid twice because I kept wearing out the VHS. I sang, I twirled, I flipped my hair in the bathtub. At 14 I watched Ever After on a never-ending loop, curled up in my white comforter atop my waterbed, sobbing along with Drew Barrymore. Before I knew what a hooker was I had seen Pretty Woman at least ten times. As a girl of the 90’s, I loved fairy tales. SAVE ME! Save me from these cornfields! Give me everything I can’t even imagine wanting!
So I waited. I dated. And I got knocked up. Eventually I realized there was no prince on his way. He didn’t exist. I was responsible for my life.
Women are raised to have incredibly unrealistic expectations of relationships. I speak of women because I have first hand experience being raised as one and raising one. We were taught by example through movies, books and music. My parents never sat me down to tell me that those relationships weren’t real. My friends and I discussed “the perfect man.” Our hormonal, teenage minds fully expecting him to materialize when we ran off to college.
Now in their mid-to-late 20’s, I know too many women who are waiting to be saved. Lifetimes halted for a perfect creature to walk in and take them away from the misery they live. There are no perfect creatures. You’re flawed, too, as you should be. Imagine how insecure you’d feel spending your flawed life with a perfect human. There will be someone, though, and he won’t be perfect. He won’t always live up to your expectations. You’ll be horribly disappointed sometimes. And sometimes he’ll be horribly disappointed with you because you didn’t live up to his expectations. And then I’ll congratulate you, because that is what a real life relationship looks like.
Welcome to real life. It’s where you live. It’s where all those actors who play fairy tale creatures live as well. I present, Exhibit A:
While you’re getting over your fairy tale dreams, I’d like you to take a minute to check out these super badass women who are nothing like the women in those fairy tales we grew up watching. Rather than spending our days in misery dwelling on the perfect men that don’t exist, let’s all study these ladies and perfect our crossbow skills.
Who’s with me?